09 November 2009

The little troll Uli


Autumn is getting greyer.
But the light is photogenic so I guess that's nice.

I have to tell you something.
When I am ten years older, I won't be one of those people who say "Oeh if only I was twenty again - everything was so niiiice then!". Beacuse when you're twenty-something you're just confused. You don't know who you are and you don't know who you want to be. And it sucks not nowing anything.
I'm 21 and I don't know shit.
I would love to be confident. To simply know. Not to feel a lot of messed up things and have no idea why I feel them. I feel like an old fruit sallad. Just a lot of things stirred around and you don't really want to eat any of it.
I want to be able to talk to people and somehow get things straight in my head, but when I talk I just say I feel confused and I don't know why. I thought that when I would start going to the university I would stop feeling confused. But I do though.
And wouldn't it be cool to be one of those people who are really young but who just know what they want to do and exactly how to do it?
I think something is up. Up in my head. Or rather down.

I used to love taking selfportraits, but now when I look through the pictures I get a weird taste in my mouth. Even when I look myself in the mirror... it's like who's that little lady?

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