After a hard couple of years of being a superhero in a corrupt society filled with politicians and uneducated people, SuperUli has really hit rock bottom after some construction workers dug up her underground home during last week. I met her in the local pub to hear the tragic story of the end of superheroeism.
TimesMagazine: Is it really over?
SuperUli: Being a superhero? Yeah. It is. Sure it feels strange, but I knew this day would come. My cover has been blown before by curious small children.
S: Yes. One time in the park I was saving a female duck from getting raped by three male ducks, when some kids wanted to have a better look at me and caught hold of me and ripped my mask of.
T: Wow. That sounds harsh.
S: Yes. Children are truly evil and disgusting.
T: Today you were no mask.
S: I’ve got nothing to hide anymore. I’m just a woman walking the streets. I’m the French guy in the café. I’m the old woman with a drinking problem. I’m your cousin who doesn’t know who the father of her baby is. I’m you.
T: That’s an interesting way of seeing life.
S: Well I’m a very interesting person.
S: Yes it’s ok.
T: Will you tell us about your underground home getting dug up?
S: Yes I will tell you. In fact I’ll tell you right away. I was living in some tubes under the ground north of the big city. Great place to hunt rabbits and take evening walks… meet new people. Anyway, one day when I’m at home drawing some new plans of savings I could do, the tubes, my house walls, are lifted up and some fat dumb construction workers bring me up to ground. I was speechless. I mean…
T: What were you thinking then?
S: I thought; what the fuck?!
T: Yes I see.
S: What was a woman like me to do?
T: What did you do?
S: Took my weed and left. I’m couchsleeping now.
T: Very interesting.
S: Not really.
T: But I understand that superheroism hasn’t been very good the past years anyway?
S: Well… let me put it like this. If you leave a strawberry out in the sun for 5 years – no one is going to find it gorgeous anymore.